LostDreamer blog

Will it change things?

So, i can honestly say i love this guy, i live with him and his family. i've been approved by his parents, and his sister/my best friend tells me all the time that he likes me and wants to be with me, but i cant understand...then why arent we together...while...today...my question was answered...

He may have gotten a girl preganet (i cant spell). and well my best friend told me today that she talked to him, aand he said "I love Samantha, but i dont want to put her in that postion"

can you say WOW and HOLY COW!! and i found out that this girl is getting a test tomorrow...wow...i have put my heart on the line before...but now its on the line because of a girl...geeze!! so...idk...but what he doesnt know is that, i want to be with him, and even if she was preganet i would still be with him...i wish i could tell him, but i cant...and thats too bad.

So right now i'm sitting on my half of the bed i share wondering what'll happen, how it'll happen...and how i cant believe this is happening, but i guess everything happens for a reason...i really just want to cry...i really do but i cant

I guess all i need is to go to the beach. its where i clear my head and think...thats what i really need. i need to walk on the shore, clear my head, hear the water against the sand. and feel the sand between my toes, and go where he first told me that he loved me.

the beach is just calling me...and i cant do anything about it. i need someone to talk to....i need the beach,i need a ineed a, a...wow...i need the beach....I Love Him and will stand behind him no matter what! I just want him to know that!

I LOVE YOU~ YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Changing Times

Changing....

     We all know are lives are going to change right....well i did, but i never thought like this...

     ...So, about a week ago, a friend, Salem,  "crashed" his car (it wasnt really that bad) and i was out with my friend Ashley, when we got the call, we drove from Riverside to Hemet at no time at all. After we get therer i decide to go to his house...then by the time i was gonna leave it was to late so i just stayed the night, and with that i got kicked out of my house...

    ...and everythings changed...Me and my mom talk more now, i atually have a family

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A New Place...

A new place, a new world, new relief. I've made this so that i can just write and share, and think, about everything thats going on with me. I hope that this will give me a place to clear my mind, or organize my mind...and i really believe it will, i believe this place to be an amazing truth for me. What i'm feeling will be here, what i'm thinking, will be here. Whether its just rambling on junk....like right now, or maybe sincere feelings or situations. I've been threw alot, more than ppl know, more than i sometimes want ppl to know, but at the same time i've had it easier than other ppl. but no one has the perfect life. everyone wants more, or maybe even less. I wonder if this site will actually clear my mind, of if someone will help me.

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