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What About Me?
By beanerywriters(11,675)
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| Some things really rankle me! I was perched on Carolyn’s shoulders eaveseyeing on her newspaper last Sunday, and wouldn’t you know? Lo and behold there were THREE---note THREE---articles on critters. And not one of them celebrated us cockroaches, not even the German kind like I am---all beauty in color with lacy iridescent wing! No, the cover story was on polar bears, two brothers. They created a special environmentally enriched playground at the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium for them. All the luxuries of life---all because they look all cuddly and sweet! Yet me, a cockroach, all they want to do is SQUISH me against a wall using anything available to do the deed! Just because I’m so tiny. They wouldn’t THINK of doing that to the polar bear, the world’s largest land predator, weighing 1300 pounds (to my infinitesimally tiny perhaps not even measurable weight). Then Carolyn turned the page and what did I see? Articles on two other critters! Lizards that adapt to environmental changes in months---yet no mention of my kind, a survivor of over four hundred million years of climate changes! And no insult to my friend A’nonniemouse (I’ll tell you about him later), but the Hungarians actually cloned a mouse using live body cells after three years of research. Do you think they’d ever want to clone my type? I should live long enough to see that event! Don’t these people know what my ilk has contributed to bugkind? And humankind? Let me tell you---if I don’t pat myself on the back, no one will (except with a new undesirable shoe). I must say my kind has been belittled and exploited through the years. Can you imagine a woman capturing us (not an easy feat) in order to freeze us (oh, such a cruel death!) in varying positions, then placing us in a miniature house mimicking human activities? Cooking, watching television, even reading newspapers---abhorrent activities, even though I eaveseye on Carolyn when she’s reading. And the entrepreneur who captures us and inserts our bodies inside lollipops. Or the candy maker who takes it one step further---making “Prismo surfers.” He BAKES us and clothes us in chocolate swim trunks, then places our bodies on a banana surfboard. Does he think humans like to eat us? Or that roaches even surf? I guess there are all kinds! Perhaps both those situations improve on being squished. But none of them give us credit for serving humankind. We are omnivores. We eat almost anything. The lowly bedbug is a favorite---how many of them have we eaten so humans can sleep safely? But most of all, we should receive medals for our scientific work. Researchers merged tools of engineering with principles of biology and created a cockroach remote-controlled car, done by inserting a recording electrode to the thoracic flight muscles of my cousins, the American cockroach (OK, so it wasn’t us better German cockroaches!). Someday humans will scoot about in roach-powered wheelchairs. I don’t mind research like this---zoom, zoom, we’d go swerving around corners and beating out other racecars and racechairs. And those computer problems, how difficult to diagnose are they? We aren’t given credit when a “Robo-roach” with attached sensory devices carried in a backpack helps detect these problems. With all the world weather disasters and terrorisms Robo-roaches could even locate victims among the chaos! This appeals to me---there’s tons of debri to munch on after performing our task. Ummm, deliciousous! Hey, space studies---what bravado! Us tiny creatures are taped to a piece of cotton for protection from acceleration forces and placed in something akin to a beverage can with the top removed. Well, what I really want is a first-place medal in the German category of Texas’ Biggest Cockroach contest, held in Dallas, Texas each year. Size counts, doesn’t it? Why power a wheelchair for humans who want to see our remains squooshed on their walls? Who wants to be taped in a can and shipped to no-cockroach’s land, possibly never to return? No, give me the medal. And please, write about me too. I’m an appealing character, cantankerous curmudgeon that I am. Will write more later, but Doodleoot for now. Cochran |
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Posted to ProBlogs.com on Monday, January 01, 2007
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Comment by beanerywriters(11,675)
LITTLE COCKROACH...
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