cold-blood

   i have not wrote something here for few days.just feel so slouching.want to do nothing.every night.before sleeping.i just sit in darkness.nothing to think.seems.have nothing in my head.seems.the world is so far from me...

  husband went to another country.maybe.will go back in about one year.i feeling nothing about that.sometimes.i feel i am so cold-blood person.when my mom died.i had no any tear.but.there were so many my kinfolks.i were afraid they saw my blank face.so i tryed my best to crush my tears.but nothing. i had to keep a logy expression to show my sadness.but in fact.in my heart.had no anything feeling with it. the only feeling for me is i just want to go a place where nobody can find. when i left my hometown ,went to a far city for study.standing the head of ship.seeing homwtown is farer.i had no any feeling with that too.heart is so cold.when my roomates cryed for missiing their family.i were laughing.....so cold me!

  do i have heart? if i had.why i have no feeling? if i had no.why i cry when i watching tv? if i had.why i never cry when i face my sadness? if i had no.why i weep when i hear that song?

  well.anyways.life will be continued.cry or laugh,happy or sad.i have to face all