Torn Between 2 worlds by themystic1

It could be seen that nowdays,there's more and more family crisis than the last era due to the great impact of modernization that the world is revoluting into it.It's certainly deniable that I'm the only one who face this kind of situation but every crisis has it's different caused of it whereby if it's not resolved will cause further destructions.

After the downfall that I had gone through,I've manage to cope up with the strainess relationship between my parents although it's not a matter for me to be concerned about.I find myself tolerating their unsettled problems of their unstable marriage.Why had I not realize this earlier and stop myself being affected by the indirect impact of my parents arguements,actions and much more which contributes to my downfall??

Looking back at all my achievements through the years,I'm really proud of myself but the person that I should truly thank was my mom as she's the one behind every goals I wanted to achieve not my dad instead.I still want you alive mom and dad I really hope and pray for you to change for the better as a husband and my dad.There is no lovingness from your side.You've neglected us fro the sake of job I know that your earning damn hard to make sure we don't have financial problems that you've face before during your young age.I understand that no one is perfect in this world but there is people out there who wants to achieve as a perfectionist so I don't get it why should people nowadays restrict or bound themselves instead of stretching out of the comfort zone.

Sometimes when I reflected the past,I felt that why should I be in this stituation??I don't deny people sees me a jouvile type loves to hang around cheering people up and being self-motivated.This has enabled me to achieve so of my goals in high school till now form5 a year more to leave school.I'm happy that I manage to put up a happy front but deep inside I felt envy at times to those of my friends out of school persuing their dreams succeddfully with their parents both equally supportive in encouraging them towards their goals set.

I don't want to be a person between stuck between 2 world nor being seperated apart from it too.Mom and dad What I reallly wish is that clear your misunderstandings between as this is the major problem which causes a havoc throughout the 18years.I'm really sick of being in both sides,I don't mind hearing all sorts as a child but I don't want to be a messenger between both of you nor a secret keeper.This will cause me to fell gulty as it's put me in a scenario whereby what should I do to help?? If I do this or that would it be fair to both??Best is to leave it to god their faith and destiny but when it would end??The sad thing is I know it might end without tears but with a seperation or divorce.I don't fear for that as I'm prepared cause it's more hurtful to be in this situation between both for long-term.I'm still relying on myself to stand strong to go through at least my this year's major exam and hopefully things could patch up although I know it couldn't be possible.No matter what I have to see the light which will lit within and to have another hopeful day ahead.