This is the sixth part of a 7 Part letter that I, Cochran Cornell the Cantankerous Cockroach, wrote to my friend, A’nonniemouse. To read previous parts of this letterclick on Cochran’s Writings, where all parts are filed. Well, A’nonniemouse, I know you are an educated mouse, a rarity in the rodent kingdom, having attended Mouse College. Well, you know, the reason we may have taken such a liking to each other is that we have something in common, our advanced studying. I don’t know what you majored in while in college, but I never could decide. I got a scholarship in cross country running, and thought sports was where it was at for me. I hoped to be a roach coach, preparing road runner and cross country racers, but I decided that the college was attracting mediocre athletes so I just lost interest. And these were the top runners in my species, they said! Then I entertained the idea of becoming a roachysian neurosurgeon. But you know how long that would take! I would never be able to begin my career with all those years in school. And the chemistry courses were the pits. All those rings of chemicals making up the aldehydes and formaldehydes. Speaking of formaldehyde---when I almost wound up becoming a true specimen, preserved in the formaldehyde drippings of the roachdaver we had to dissect, I decided I’d had enough. Without roachology, how could I become competent to care for my fellow beings? Then I considered veterinarian work, but the patients would be so much heavier than I am that I couldn’t even fathom the thought. Imagine---working on critters who minimize my size! Now that I couldn’t fulfill my roachsian dream, I moved on to the social welfare field. You know there are roaches who never do anything with their life. They wait for others to catch their food, considering they don’t want to take the risk of getting bombarded with Homo sapiens weapons of war, so they back off and beg nutrition off us working roaches. I contemplated trying to change the attitudes of these ne’er do well critters, who do an injustice to the roach kingdom, but my attitudes aren’t soft enough to fit in with those other social welfare workers. Click back next Monday night for Part 7, the conclusion of Cochran’s Letters About Finding His Identity. The parts are filed in the category Cochran’s Writings on the Beanery Writers Online Magazine. |
