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Monday, A Day At The Office

By BJChips(5,633) BJChips

Dear Diary
Today was my day to go with my female human to the office. When we’re out in public I refer to my human pets as Mommy and Daddy. I have found this makes conversation easier.
Once or twice a month I go with Mommy to her office and spend the day with about twelve other humans in her work group. I have the run of the place and everyone knows me by name.  I have been making these journeys now for the past year and have used behavior modification techniques to insure all of the humans I visit in the office have treats and other goodies for me.
Today was wet and rainy so I obliged my mommy and allowed her to dress me in the appropriate raincoat and hat. Humans seem to be obsessive about clothing and feel the need to “dress” us accordingly. As silly, as this habit is cooperation with their whims of doggie clothing can net you some solid rewards.  Each of us has to determine our own comfort level with clothing and accessories. My personal limits are hair bows; feather barrettes and anything that makes me look like a “girly man”.
At the office, I immediately shed my wet weather gear and begin my rounds of the offices.  I’ll attempt to outline my visits in the order they occurred.

Office 1 belongs to a nice lady named Marianne. She always has a treat jar on her desk and buys the most wonderful hand made gourmet biscuits and bones. Today she was handing out large cheesy crackers, which I helped myself to.  I am obliged to sit in her lap for a while as repayment for the treats while she “baby talks” to me. I’ll attempt to translate:
 “Ohhhhh h your such a cutie pie munchkin”.  Translation “ You’re a handsome boy.”
“Look how pretty your mommy did your hair this morning…. ohhhhh I wish I had a pretty boy at home like you.” Translation “I’d like to borrow your hair barrettes for Saturday night.”
“You are succccccccccccch a gooooooooooood boy! Yes you are, oh you are a cutie!’ Translation “ Have another cookie and sit on my lap a few more minutes.”
After Marianne, I move on to a gentleman by the name of Jim. He never talks silly to me but he always has a spare tennis ball for me to play with. I let him toss the ball a few times and return it promptly each time. I know that Jim has beef jerky in his top desk drawer and after a few “toss and fetch” he gives me a piece which I take, eat and say thank you for before heading on down the hall to my next stop.
Third on my list is another nice gentleman by the name of Rick. He smells like pipe tobacco and leather. Nice manly scents that I like. Rick isn’t much of a talker or a player for that fact. He’s all business. “Morning BJ” he says as I wander in. “Did you bring your rain gear? Going to shower all day.” he remarks.
I sit, put on my manly yet cute face and cock my head. This is good for either an ear scratch or a complete body rough up and down. This morning it’s an ear scratch and I take advantage and get both ears done.
I move on past the office with the nasty dog hater named Lisa. She glares at me from behind her desk and I return the favor with a loud obnoxious “SNORT!!” I don’t like her and she knows it. Take note of this all canine readers. Humans who openly make their dislike for dogs known are not to be trusted. They are usually spiteful, nasty people who don’t like themselves much either. Worse yet is the dog hater, cat lover. These people should be exiled to an island where they can’t further damage the planet!
Light crowd in the office this morning, a few humans taking vacation days I suppose. Three of my best treat sources are out of the office. I’ll have to do without my Beggin strips, my large Milk bones and my Carob cookies today.
Back to mommy’s office with a detour back through Jim’s office to retrieve the tennis ball. I’ll take that to my basket under Mommy’s desk and give it a good chewing. Once it’s slobbery, I’ll return it to Jim with my thanks.
Mommies on the phone so I excuse myself and slip under the desk and into my basket. Within a half an hour the ball is slippery wet and Mommy is off to a meeting so I take a nap.
Lunch is always interesting. Mommy eats at her desk and I get a small portion of my kibble and a drink of bottled water. We then go to the office “green space” where I can use a tree and take a walk. It has stopped raining so we skip the raincoat and hat.
After lunch, I make rounds again. Collecting treats, ear rubs, tummy rubs and such along the way. I return the ball to Jim so he can keep it safe for my next visit.  A long nap later it’s time to head home.  Ahhh this is the life. Nine to five, good benefits, great co-workers and a good environment.

This Blog Post has been read 7 times.
Posted to ProBlogs.com on Monday, January 01, 2007
View other posts by BJChips

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