Men Only!

If you are a non-men...a wanna be...or guyette...shooo...go away...go shoping or do your nails or something, okay.

Okay, guys, it's safe now for us to talk without fear of any of Them butting in so feel free to express yourselves.

Why am I bringing this up now?  In two words, Diane Sawyer.  You know the old peroxide blond bobble headed broad on GMA who can't even say her name without swinging her arms all over the place while making all sorts of facial expressions while emoting.  I think her arm and face muscles must be attached to her tongue.

Well, anyway, yesterday morning she was interviewing an air-headed twit also of the second sex who had taken crayon in hand and in twelve minutes had written a best selling girlie book explaining we, the senior sexers, to fellowette second sexers. 

Anyway, Bobble Head asked the Twit, "What she found to be the Senior Sexes most disgusting habit," or words to that affect, to which Twit replied, "The way they eat."

What the heck is this all about?  For more than half a century the second sex have been attacking we first sexers unashamedly on a steadily increasing basis without answer.  Why?  Why?  I'll tell you why.  Because we first sexers still have within us the gentlemanness of our first first sexer, Adam.

Yeah, I am aware Adam screwed up when he asked our Lord "What can I get for a rib?" after our Lord told Adam that in exchange for an arm and a leg he would supply Adam with a perfect companion, one who would never complain or object to anything Adam wished to do and who would also do all the chores around their abode willingly.  Our Lord said, what the heck, I have Devil and she keeps me on my toes so okay, Adam, I'll show you and we all know that Adam got the short end of the stick from our Lord on that one, don't we?

Well, fellows, I believe They have gone too far this time.  Cheese it's, Mary, and Beelzabubesses, now they don't like the way we eat...this from the Cud Chewers of America.  99.999 percent of Them can't take a step without Their jaw falling open to reveal not only where Their tonsils had been but the gigantic wad of Cud they chew even while sleeping.

This from those who prefer eating mashed potatoes and gravy with their fingers.

This from those who are never satisfied to eat what they order in restaurants but continuely reach across with their slobbered eating utinsels to taste what's on our plates because it "looks so good."

Have you ever sat near One at breakfast when They were eating ceral from a bowl?  Lord, one would think they were mining porcelain they way the keep digging into the ceral bowl, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, turning the ceral over in a never ending manner before finally scooping up a spoonful which they don't raise to their mouths but rather prefer lowering their heads to the spoon to slurp whatever it holds noisely from it in order to swill it down in one gulp.  Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, slurp, gulp, burp, over and over until all that is left is but a nub of a spoon, a chipped porcelain bowl and echoes of really uncoth gastronomical sounds emiting from Their prime facial cavities. 

Hell, even my doggie Stoutheart, a purebred something or other gets up and leaves the room whenever my One and Only enters the room with a plate of swill.  Stoutheart was the best five buck bargain I ever had.  The officer at the pound gave me five bucks to take him with me when I left.

Guys, what you must never forget for an instant is the simple fact that They are expert at putting we first sexers on a guilt trip whenever it suits their purpose.  Remember men, we are not only the Senior sex we are the Working Husbands, the Working Fathers, the Working male Parent of the fruits of our loins, the Working bread winners and Heads of Our Households: not Them.  So stand up and take charge, heck you have proably already been cut off for the remainder of this quarter anyway for some reason you don't understand anyway, what have you got to lose?

Ut Oh, got to go, posting this on my floor held lap top from beneath the bed and I hear footsteps approaching down the hall which means I must get prepared to deal with the swishing of a broom handle under the bed as My Pretty searches for me, in vein, may I add.  Catch you guys later, okay?  First sex eating habits, really, Bobble Head?   SYOTB