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COCKROACHES GET A MILLION DOLLAR GRANT!!!!


By beanerywriters(11,690)

Posted Monday, October 01, 2007
View All Blog Posts submitted by beanerywriters


by Cochran Cornell the Cantankerous Cockroach

Hey, did you read the recent newspaper item? My creator Carolyn did and she showed me the amazing article. It gave me a whole new view of myself. It was even better than those college students making roach robots!

You see, the Pentagon’s Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency gave the Virginia Commonwealth University a million dollar grant---a MILLION dollars---to study us roaches. The fact that they will also be studying houseflies too---ugh, how could they couple us roaches with the housefly?---can’t even squelch my excitement!

You see, this finally gives me a PURPOSE in life! They think we are so valuable they want to study us!

They think we can confirm the presence of toxins inside contaminated buildings or subways. They think we can detect everything from anthrax spores to DNA! DNA---would you believe! WE WILL BE IMPORTANT! Now I have MEANING in my life! If it weren’t for the fact that those houseflies were categorized with us roaches, and were also being used for research, life would be perfect!
And remember, DO NOT CRUSH OR CURSE that COCKROACH skittering about your kitchen. He’s no longer a persona non grata. He’s a MVR---MOST VALUABLE ROACH!!!!
After all, he's worth a MILLION DOLLARS!

 




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Posted to ProBlogs.com on Monday, October 01, 2007
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