Haunted Houses for Adults: Children Shouldn't Play with These Dead Things

With October upon us, many people start thinking about Halloween.  It's time to get that cool new costume, buy candy for the trick-or-treaters, and of course head out to the local haunted house for a good scare.  Over the past few years haunted houses have graduated from cheap thrill to big-budget horrorfest.  It's no surprise, then, to find advertisements for haunted houses on radio, television, and billboards.

One company in Houston has decided that kids shouldn't be the only ones to enjoy a little terror.  A haunted house that advertises itself as an adult-themed entertainment option will open its doors this month.  The self-rated triple-X business will operate right next door to a subdivision where families with small children reside.  Needless to say, the neighbors aren't too happy about the prospect of having to deal with the clientele expected to haunt the establishment (pun definitely intended).

The owner of the business insists that local obscenity laws do not apply because his employees wear body paint. Houston's mayor, Bill White, insists that the business will be monitored very closely and will not be allowed to take advantage of any loopholes.

I'm trying to figure out how sex and horror tie in together.  Perhaps this is supposed to be like a slasher film, where the girl gets slaughtered by the psycho chainsaw-wielding madman because she was fooling around with the football team.  Someone just wants to show the end result without having to worry about clothing the body.  It's possible this could be seen as artistic expression of the many facets of death and dying.  Or maybe the business owner has done some research and found that necrophiliacs are the latest untapped market that needs to be catered to.  Makes no difference, I still get a little bit sick inside.

Frankly, I hope the mayor and his legal staff find something that will allow them to shut this particular business down.  Getting scared is one thing.  Getting aroused while you're getting scared - well, that sounds like something the psychiatrists need to deal with.