Today's Sports Quick Hits

OK, here's how this is going to work. I have opinions, lots of them on lots of things. Rather than devote whole posts to each of them, we'll just hit the most important ones quickly (thus the name quick hits. Clever, huh?). Let's get started.

Two Game Ones in the books. Anyone surprised?
I have your excuse for September, Boston fans. Ready? They were saving themselves for October. It looks that way after Game One of their ALDS, a 4-0 pasting of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim near Hollywood, the San Fernando Valley and Rancho Cucamonga. Josh Beckett became the first person since teammate Curt Schilling (in 1993 and 2001) to pitch back-to-back shutouts and the first Red Sox player since Babe Ruth(!) to accomplish the feat. Big Papi found his stroke. That's a good sign for the postseason as well. The Sox are 7-2 when he goes yard.
Over in the National League, Jeff Francis ended his run of poor pitching against the Phillies as his Rockies won their Game One 4-2. He did it by shutting down Philadelphia's big dogs. Utley, Rollins and Howard went 0-everything and Utley struck out four times. It's like the Phillies came down with a bad case of the Reds. So much for the shootout that everyone expected.

Speaking of shootouts
The Red Wings exacted their revenge against the Stanley Cup Champion Ducks (yes, another team from the sports hotbed of Anaheim) with a 3-2 shootout victory. There's nothing better than having to decide the first game of the season with a shootout.

Quarterback woes
Alex Smith does indeed have a separated shoulder. That's the bad news. The good news is Dr. James Andrews (AKA The Healer, he's like the Benny Hinn of the sports world) doesn't think he needs surgery. There's no timetable for his return, but 49ers fans can expect to see him in street clothes for at least a few weeks.
In St. Louis, Marc Bulger is out and Gus Frerotte is in. How badly does Bulger have to be hurting for the Rams to turn the reins over to Fre-rotten? Couldn't they have traded for David Carr at least?

The Cheaters
Rodney Harrison returns to a Pats team that should seriously consider showing him the door permanently. Seriously, do they really need him at a time when they are still taking heat for being cheaters themselves? I say send a message to the league that they want to walk the straight and narrow and cut him. I'm pretty sure it won't affect Brady-to-Moss at all.
And Kimberley Bell tries once again to confirm baseball's worst kept secret. Barry Bonds' former mistress bares her soul (and everything else) to Playboy about Bonds and his obsession about what the steroids were doing to his body. These things were expanding, those things were shrinking. I'm pretty sure the article is titled "Restating the Obvious." At this point, who's a bigger attention whore? Bonds or Bell?

In and Out
Walt Jocketty is out as Cardinals GM. They had to get rid of someone and no one wanted to try to wake La Russa. Jocketty was the logical next choice. Don't you think La Russa looks an awful lot like Weekend at Bernie's in the Cardinals dugout?
Clemens is in for the Yankees ALDS Game 3, saying his Geritol has finally kicked in and he promises to drink his Ensure the night before.
And Dario Franchitti is in next season as he moves from open wheel racing to NASCAR. He'll be the first European to make the move full time (at least the first since Jean Girard). Franchitti is the defending Indianapolis 500 and IRL series champ. He's also a delicate Italian pastry often served with fresh strawberries and cream.