Things We Can Do Without: In the Public Restroom

In our accessory-obsessed society, it seems there's nothing too outrageous that people won't purchase to ensure they're being pampered at a level to which they've grown accustomed.  However, when the new enters, the old must exit.  Based upon my personal observations, there are some items which are no longer being used and have overextended their welcome.  As a result, they need to go.  Today I take a look at that necessary bastion of privacy and creature comforts when we're away from home, the public restroom.

Urinals (men's room only).  Men brag about their skills in hand-eye coordination on the sports field, in the hunting field, and all over various video- and computer-game fields.  So where does that manual dexterity go when they visit the restroom?  I've never seen a sign outside a restroom door that says "Check Your Aim Here".  I'm amazed that a guy who can snag a pop fly behind his back with his eyes closed, or tag a deer with one shot from 300 yards away, can't aim a stream of liquid into a ceramic bowl with a five-square-foot opening from 12 inches away.  It's gotten to the point where you have to wear protective footwear before entering some men's rooms.  If that's the case, why don't builders just save themselves the time and expense of installing the plumbing?  Give it some nice, easily-cleaned tile walls, a sloping floor with a few big holes for drainage, and the aforementioned protective footwear, and let the guys go to town.  Cleanup would be a snap, too - a good hosing down of the walls and floor would be enough, if you used the right cleaning solution.  Say, maybe, acid.

Trash containers.  They're usually right underneath the paper towel dispenser, and they're usually sizeable.  Yet have you ever walked into a public restroom and not found paper on the floor?  Perhaps it's related to the lack of aim mentioned above.  I know some guys who view every trashcan as a chance to show off their basketball skills (keep your day jobs, gentlemen - the NBA isn't even close to desperate).  Possibly it's a fear of all the germs that could be fermenting in the bottom of the container, gradually working their way to the top.  Or maybe it's just a misinterpretation of what I see.  For all I know, the trash container gets so full that it can't handle any more, and regurgitates its contents all over the floor.

Sinks.  A recent study indicates that while people are more concerned than ever about cleanliness and protecting themselves from disease, fewer of us are washing our hands after using the restroom.  Conservation of our precious water resources, perhaps?  In any event, if people won't be using the facilities, there's no reason to install them.

Soap and paper towels.  See "Sinks".  Although some might argue for keeping the paper towels, since they need something to protect themselves from all the germs on the door handle as they leave...yeah, right.

Gender-specific restrooms.  Don't laugh.  I've seen both men and women rush through a restroom door without paying attention to whether the picture outside the door is a boy or a girl.  I've also witnessed cleaning personnel of one gender enter the restroom of the other while it was still occupied, and heard the frantic screams and cries of outrage through the walls.  If folks can't read a picture, perhaps it's time to eliminate the differences and focus on the similarities.  Everybody uses the same room for the same function.  Of course, you know the ladies would complain about the wet floors and toilet seats...oh, well, you can't make everybody happy.

Just think of it.  One restroom instead of two; a few toilets and no urinals; no cleaning facilities or supplies.  Businesses would save money, and people would spend a lot less time in the restroom.  Everyone would benefit at this effort to, er, eliminate waste...!