Things We Can Do Without: On Our Roadways

From the moment we pull out of our driveways to the moment we turn off our automobiles in the safety of our garages, we are surrounded by technology, both old and new, which does its best to guide us in our journeying and provide a safe trip.  However, it's apparent that some of this technology is no longer used and needs to be eliminated, from both a practical and an economic standpoint.  I'm talking about things like:

Stop lights.  The story goes something like this.  Pull up to the red light.  Stop.  Wait for the light to turn green.  Wait a few seconds more just to be safe.  Enter the intersection.  Get hit by some clown running the red light long after it's changed.  If people are going to ignore the lights anyway, why not replace them all with four-way stop signs?  The reduction in costs, both in production and in energy consumption, could be significant.  Of course, you'd have to deal with the issue of people running stop signs instead of red lights, but that's going to happen either way.  Time to buy that tank you've always wanted.

Highway entrance ramps.  It's called an "acceleration lane" for a reason.  You're supposed to speed up as you enter the lane, with the end result being that by the time you reach the end of the lane, you're going the same speed as traffic on the highway and can safely merge into it.  What actually happens is people race down the lane until they reach the point where they're supposed to merge, at which time they step on their brakes, come to a stop, and wait for an opening.  I can't imagine the G-forces they must put on themselves trying to go from 0 to 60 in just a second or two.  Or the ones that the drivers on the highway endure when slamming on the brakes to keep from hitting these geniuses.

Wreckers.  If you want to know if there's a car accident on the road ahead of you, watch for the tow trucks racing past you on the shoulder and weaving in and out of traffic.  A typical accident scene usually involves one or two cars, a police car, possibly an ambulance or fire truck, and a dozen tow trucks.  I can't help but wonder if these drivers are NASCAR driver wannabes getting in a few more hours of practice before their next big tryout.  At least they named the vehicles right.  They must cause at least as many accidents as they attend.

Speed limit signs.  There's something wrong when I'm driving the speed limit on the highway and every other car on the road is passing me by.  I've actually had people pull up behind me and flash their brights at me, wanting me to speed up.  Excuse me?  There are multiple lanes on this road, and if you want to go faster, go around me.  I'm not getting a speeding ticket because you have a leadfoot.  If folks are going to ignore the signs (which I assumed were put there for our safety), let's get rid of them and save a few bucks.

Painted lines.  Whether on the highway, the street, or in your local parking lot, I see no reason for them.  That's based on watching drivers who act as if they don't exist.  Somebody drives down the road brazenly straddling the white line, oblivious to the horn honking and yelling of the drivers behind and on either side of him.  Those bumpy things that our department of transportation puts down to let people know they're driving where they shouldn't?  They're ignored.  ("Oh, wow, honey!  I didn't know our car had built-in Magic Fingers!")  In parking lots, people will actually pull in at an angle to take up two or more parking spaces, evidently to protect their rolling investment from the possibility of getting dinged by items like car doors, shopping carts, and the occasional rock or brick thrown by an angry patron.  Oh, and let's include fire lanes in this group.  How many times do you pull up to a grocery store or shopping center to find people sitting in their cars, idling in the fire lane?  "I'm waiting for my wife.  She'll only be a few minutes."  Better hope no fire breaks out while I'm in the store and you're out here, buster.  My lawyer will definitely be calling your lawyer when the fire trucks can't get in because you and your wife were too lazy to walk a few feet.  Of course, after we're done with you, you'll be walking everywhere...!

Some would argue that removing these items from our roadways would cause pandemonium and chaos.  Those people obviously haven't driven in awhile.  Let's save ourselves the money and get rid of the things we no longer use.  Just make sure your auto and health insurance premiums are paid up.  And it wouldn't hurt to keep handy the phone number of your local priest or pastor, too.  Happy driving!