"Green Sex": Procreate and Save a Tree At the Same Time!

If the title of this article has you chuckling, join the crowd.  I laughed out loud when I first saw the phrase in an article.  Thinking that maybe the author was talking about a locale for the activity, I read on.  Turns out there's a group of people who believe that the changes we make in one of our most fundamental biological processes can protect our world from global warming.  (I also learned that you've got to be prepared when you do a Google search on the phrase.  You end up on some rather, um, "interesting" sites!)

So how can you change your love life and make the world a better place for everyone?  Here are some suggestions.

Gift giving.  When purchasing gifts for your beloved, think renewable resources.  Give a gift of organic food or all-natural powders or body oils.  Create a meal without using gas or electricity.  Or make a purchase for the bedroom, which brings me to the next item on the list...

Bedding.  The hot new fabric in the bedroom is bamboo.  Bamboo sheets have the texture of satin or silk without the slippery side effects.  Bamboo grows quickly and is highly renewable.

Protection.  Yes, there are actually "green" condoms (and I'm not talking the color).  What makes a condom "green" is beyond me.  Maybe they are capable of being recycled.  Maybe they're made of some special type of latex.  (I just hope the word "reusable" doesn't figure into the equation!).  Unfortunately, my mind is racing through more possibilities than I'm comfortable with, so I'm leaving this one alone.

Lubrication.  Use water-based products rather than petroleum-based ones.  'nuff said on that.

Energy.  The suggestion that one's copulation take place in the dark to save energy makes perfect sense (and frankly was a no-brainer).  Turning off devices like televisions and stereos that provide "mood music" was also recommended.  But the big energy-saver was that increasing the amount of time spent on your "pre-game show" could produce additional heat in the bedroom, allowing you to lower your thermostat setting.  If that's true, I see an incredible business opportunity in a virgin market (pun intended).  Hire a few hundred hormone-laden young people and start charging the batteries.  Increase friction (and production) by taking away their lubricant.  You get the idea, so I'll stop now.

Personally, when I'm involved in my extracurricular activites, I'm not really concentrating on how the rest of the world can benefit.  But if you're one of those folks who feels guilty about not doing your part, you can rest assured that even during your most intimate times you are helping to improve our environment.