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Why do men and women cheat?

By Creative(54,965) Creative

Posted Sunday, January 20, 2008
View All Blog Posts submitted by Creative

Firstly I must make it clear that I have never cheated or had an affair with a married man etc. and so this blog is written purely from what I know of those who have cheated and had affairs.

From those I know who have cheated, the reasons for men cheating seems to differ vastly from those of why women cheat, though of course there will be exceptions to every rule.

Women mainly seem to cheat when things are not right in their own relationship and by that I don’t mean sexually I mean with things such as a decline in how much attention, affection, love, respect and appreciation they receive. These are things that fuel a woman’s engine in terms of devotion and loyalty and the more loved and appreciated a woman feels the happier and more faithful she is likely to remain. But if these things are lacking then her eye may stray to another man who can offer her these things. Or at least make the promise of them. As in terms of a full time relationship, the things that seem to make affairs spectacular usually wither and die. But that’s a whole other blog!

So why don’t women just leave their husbands if they aren’t getting the attention they desire? Well women are eternal optimists, we can spend years hoping that at some point things will change, the man will change and everything will be alright again. They may still love their husbands but need that gap to be filled. Freudian slip not intended! Then there are practical considerations, breaking up the family, losing their home, their lifestyle etc. The women cheaters may even hope that the affair is discovered so that their partner will get that shock to the system they need to make more effort on their relationship.

Women tend to be less cautious I have noticed when they have affairs than men. They may not delete text messages, dispose of love notes and may even bring their partner to their own home for lovemaking! A subconscious desire to be caught perhaps? Have the decision to make or break up their relationship made for them - who knows.

With regards to men, it can be the case that it is for reasons similar to those stated above for women but the chaps I know who’ve cheated on their partners have done it purely as a sexual thing and without any absence of love or respect for their real partners. They will declare they love them, cherish them, and want to marry them. Yet despite all this they still stray. Why? A higher sexual drive than the love of their life perhaps or different sexual tastes or a libido that can’t say no when they have sex offered to them on a plate.

This is why when men get caught they will usually beg for forgiveness and declare their love for their partner, whereas women cheaters may just blame their partners and beg for change.

I don’t know what the answer is for those who cheat or have been cheated on. I guess more honesty and greater compatibility at the onset of the relationship is a good deterrent. Feel free to comment here with your thoughts and experiences.

This Blog Post has been read 594 times.
Posted to ProBlogs.com on Sunday, January 20, 2008
View other posts by Creative

Comments on this blog post:

Bob melaccio sr: (131 days 17 hours ago.)
I think you did an excellent job with this. The simple fact is the sexes are different. Now I believe most men wonder, for two reasons, they are either dogs with no hope, or they are not getting what they seek at home? That is grounds for an entire new article. So, is it the taboo, sin, religious beliefs or I guess just woman beliefs that cause men to drift? Sadly there is a double standard and when woman grow content or don't care or need, men, that is weak men, just might look else where, simple as that. Lately, i suspect the tide is turning. Many are woman are looking for more and finding little different.many reagrdless of age are now sady finding out about the hundreds of new diseases that are out there. It is a sign of the times. Good job, RTM

Comment by Creative(54,965) Creative (131 days 15 hours ago.)
Thanks Bob :)

Jennifer from Ontario: (97 days 21 hours ago.)
I have cheated on one of my partners many years ago, because I thought that he was doing the same. Reasons why people cheat will not always and may not be often at all a reflection of thier partner but of themselves. I was insecure. I wanted to know I was worth the time, even though my partner was a great man. This is not whining about it but stating that I find the people I knew to cheat were excitment junkies, and others who lacked confidence and thought by bagging a "taken" person perhaps elated thier self esteem. Sometimes, the partner may not be to blame, it takes a good look at the relationship and personality traits to decide why the reason to stray.

Comment by Creative(54,965) Creative (50 days 1 hour ago.)
Thanky you for sharing that Jennifer.

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