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Passion versus 2nd Ambition

By themystic1(189)

Wonder why is my faith fated the way that I have to go through the hustle in my further education.
After my years through high school,I've work hard and do all it takes just to achieve my passion to pursue a degree in dance and a scholarhip to study abroad to become a backdrop dancer cum choreograrapher.And finally I made it gettting a scholarhip from Exeter University in UK but I rejected it cause I was mentally not ready to take up the challenge leaving far away from home alone.I've also rejected my offer from Unitec University in NZ instead chosen to go for WAAPA in ECU which produces international stars and widely recognise.
Sadly,never knew how the hell of my enrolement there were screwed up and I had to make a major yet immediate decision to continue studies in perth, WA or to scrap it and apply for 2nd choice of the same course in SG.
After gone through much thinking,finally decided to take off from WA and fly back homeland for good and applied to SG.
Now once back homeland,its always nice to be saying home sweet home but home now no longer feels home when I'm in a in between scenario.....Not here yet not there....Feeling pretty awkward being stuck whereby to see your own pals happily starting their uni life and me have started earlier but got discontinued wif friends and studies to start a new.Just felt fustrating and devastating.
For the time being in this out of my control scene,I felt it has stirred my faith in everything I do.It started to make me loose my faith,my spirit and just feel like there;s no hope anymore.My passion has indeed drifted in the period of time I waited which is only lest than a month I felt totally restless.
And this has shake my decisions and mental thoughts creates lots of questions and equation for myself to answer but is tough to make another major step which consequences is huge.The tempatation to give up is getting stronger as I don't receive any news upon what I applied to SG but yet there is a confused feelings whether If I were to pursue  my passion what about earning well next time to support myself upon graduation.The issue of the 2nd ambition growing stronger due to the stir of my confusion whereby to forget about my passion as an ambition instead pursue my 2nd ambition which is in Human Resourse Management or in Hospitality and become a stewardess after graduation as a start for experience purposes later on venture into other service line.
Praying for the battle to end so that I could have a piece of mind whereby things goes smooth sailing once again.

This Blog Post has been read 83 times.
Posted to ProBlogs.com on Monday, May 05, 2008
View other posts by themystic1

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