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Twenty Five Questions For GodBy BJChips(5,371)   Dear God We know you’re busy and all that but there are a few questions us canines would like answered about heaven. As you know God there are a lot of us down here on planet earth and since we all end up, well up there we’d like a few answers. Here are our questions: 1) If a human abuses a dog here on earth, do they get into heaven? If you let them in God, can we get an apology? 2) Are they veterinarians in heaven? Do they still get to give us shots? 3) Are there balls and chew toys? 4) Can we choose whatever kind of kibble we want? 5) Do cats get in to heaven too? 6) Is the living room furniture still off limits? 7) Is there a Kentucky Fried Chicken or a McDonalds up there? 8) Can I chase the mailman without getting in trouble? 9) If our loving human has had more then one dog, do we all get equal time? 10) Is it okay to sniff the butt of everyone we meet? How about crotches? 11) Does Christmas come but once a year? Can I open my presents early? 12) How many pet stores do you have? 13) In heaven, can we pee on the grass, roll in the flowerbeds and dig up the lawn? 14) God, are we still neutered when we get there? Can that be reversed? 15) Do you have cable television? Can we get Animal Planet? 16) Just once, can we tell our human to sit, stay? 17) Are there dog groomers in heaven? Do we still have to smell like fabric softener when we get a bath? 18) Can we go everywhere in heaven God? Stores? Restaurants? Malls? 19) Please tell me that you don’t have doggie clothing in heaven? Please? 20) Does it snow up there? 21) Can we sleep on the bed? 22) When I get to heaven, can I please eat chocolate? 23) Do humans still have stinky feet and underwear? 24) Are there fire hydrants to pee on and toilet bowls to drink out of? 25)Can we all take turns sitting on Steve Irwin’s lap? This Blog Post has been read 3 times. Posted to ProBlogs.com on Monday, January 01, 2007 View other posts by BJChips Comments on this blog post: Comment by BJChips(5,371) BJ,,,, wow,,,,Taitti from Heaven!!!!! Ya know, If its that good in Heaven,, maybe we should get a couple of 2-way tickets??? But maybe we wouldnt want to come back, so I guess we had better stay around the humans for a bit,,,So Im putting on ma Thing Helmut and have some kibble dreams, later with Helmut on, Ill chase the cats!!!!!Thats a gas BJ,,you all gotta try that Dude,, scares the fur right offa them!!! Heaven sounds fantastic,,, your bro,, Rage Comment by BJChips(5,371) Hey BJ, just been talking to Taitti who's just got there, here's what he says" 1) If a human abuses a dog here on earth, do they get into heaven? If you let them in God, can we get an apology? Yes, they get into heaven but they all become postmen and they are confined to an area where only really really big dogs get to go. 2) Are they veterinarians in heaven? Do they still get to give us shots? Only really nice ones, and no we don't need any shots. Nor do we need our ears cleaned out or our eyes wiped or our teeth cleaned. 3) Are there balls and chew toys? Yup, lots and lots of them, and they only make the annoying squeaking noise when postmen are around 4) Can we choose whatever kind of kibble we want? Kibble?? We don't eat kibble, only the finest chicken liver pate, roast turkey, fillet steak (medium rare) and chicken tikka masala (and what's even betterer here is that CTM doesn't make our faces go pink!) 5) Do cats get in to heaven too? yes, for when we get fed up chasing balls 6) Is the living room furniture still off limits? For humans, yes, but sometimes we let them up so they can tickle our tummys 7) Is there a Kentucky Fried Chicken or a McDonalds up there? Oh yes, and it's not fattening either 8) Can I chase the mailman without getting in trouble? See answer 1 9) If our loving human has had more then one dog, do we all get equal time? We all get as much time as we want, its a funny thing about heaven, time doesn't work the same way as it does on earth 10) Is it okay to sniff the butt of everyone we meet? How about crotches? Yep, both are required, and us short-legs also get special stools that magically appear when we need them so we can get right in there 11) Does Christmas come but once a year? Can I open my presents early? Don;t know about Christmas, not been here long enough, but I get presents to unwrap every morning 12) How many pet stores do you have? Lots, and they put all the goodies at my nose level! Including the rabbits and cats 13) In heaven, can we pee on the grass, roll in the flowerbeds and dig up the lawn? Oh yes, and there are unlimited lamposts and trees too 14) God, are we still neutered when we get there? Can that be reversed? No, we are all complete, and whats more no one shouts at us for humping legs, handbags and piles of dirty washing 15) Do you have cable television? Can we get Animal Planet? Oh yes, and its now showing reruns of the 1997 One man and His Dog, bliss :-) 16) Just once, can we tell our human to sit, stay? What, you mean you didn't get to do that on Earth? 17) Are there dog groomers in heaven? Do we still have to smell like fabric softener when we get a bath? yes to dog groomers, but we don't have any knots so its all really easy and we smell of proper dog afterwards. We don't need baths, we even get to roll in dead pigeons and no one complains 18) Can we go everywhere in heaven God? Stores? Restaurants? Malls? We can go everywhere, all the stores and resteraunts have "Dogs Welcome" signs on them 19) Please tell me that you don’t have doggie clothing in heaven? Please? No clothing, but we do get some really cool collars, I've got myself on with big fierce studs on it that my human would never let me have on earth! 20) Does it snow up there? Yes, but it doesn't join our legs together and its only a little bit cold 21) Can we sleep on the bed? Of course, just like on Earth 22) When I get to heaven, can I please eat chocolate? I suppose, I'm still enjoying the chicken tikka masala too much, haven't got to dessert yet 23) Do humans still have stinky feet and underwear? Oh yes, and they let you lick their feet for ages and never scream when you accidently nibble a toe 24) Are there fire hydrants to pee on and toilet bowls to drink out of? yes, see 13, and special toilet bowls for us short-legs too! 25)Can we all take turns sitting on Steve Irwin’s lap? We don't need to take turns (see answer 9), but I'm not sure I totally trust that bloody big crocodile he's got up there Leave a Public Comment or Question: My first post! Thinking Helmets - And How To Use Them test Farts - We All Do Them YouTube! To Poop or Not To Poop - That is the question Announcing My First Book |
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