Thinking Helmets - And How To Use Them

The proper selection and use of a good Thinking Helmet can be beneficial to every dog. Here are some basic guidelines for their selection and usage.

1. Select your Thinking Helmet with care. You will find that humans usually leave them lying around the house in all different places.
2. The best Thinking Helmet is the one your human has discarded as “dirty”.
3. Look for “dirty” Thinking Helmets on the floor of the human’s bedroom, in their potty place or in the place where they pile their used clothing. Good helmets can sometimes be found under the human bed or even between the sheets of the human bed as well.
4. Size is important so select a helmet that fits well over your head, perhaps allowing for a front leg and shoulder as well. Helmets that are too big will slip off your head and not help your thoughts at all. Helmets that are too small will cut off your circulation and stop your thought process completely.
5. The best Thinking Helmets are the ones that will stay on your head with a hole on each side from which to see out of and perhaps place your front legs through. When putting your helmet on it may be necessary to roll and crawl into it to insure proper placement.
6. Once in place, inhale deeply for several minutes. Close your eyes and breath deeply until your thoughts start to develop. Once your brain is engaged in thinking you can resume breathing normally and the process should continue unless you happen to fall asleep.
7. Some humans don’t like you wearing their Thinking Helmets so be careful about the timing of selecting one and wearing it. If your human catches you, surrender your helmet and wait until you can safely seek out another one.

These are basic guidelines for the selection and use of Thinking Helmets. As you continue to use them other variations on their use can be introduced into your routine. Once accustomed to selecting and wearing helmets you can use them to entertain your humans and fellow house pets as well as for shades to block out light while sleeping. WARNING: Continued use of Thinking Helmets can affect your thoughts and cause you to become so dependent on their use that you will be unable to think without one! USE sparingly and only when deep thought is required.

Remember practice, practice and practice! Happy thinking, until next time.