Halloween Costumes - A Human's Idea of You Looking Cute by BJChips

Well tomorrow is Halloween, a weird human holiday where they dress up in costumes and run around to other human's houses asking for candy. I know, I know to a canine the entire idea seems silly, but hey, we're talking humans here okay?

It started nearly two weeks ago when my female human pet told me we were going shopping. Hey, I'm in the car like a flash. I love shopping especially at the gourmet cookie bar in one of our local canine shops.

Well were off to the local Pet Smart and into to the store we go. I'm anxious to check out the treat aisle and of course look at the latest in dog toys and chews but NOOOOOOO! I'm placed in a shopping cart, which is this large create on wheels and we go zooming down this aisle and that until my human stops in front of this rack of (gulp) doggie Halloween Costumes!

Do I look like I want to be stuffed into a bright orange sack have a green stem hat tied to my head and sent off down the street looking like a short, fat, hairy pumpkin?

I kid you not, that was the first one I had to try on! I look positively pathetic and scratch at myself hoping I'd rip the darn thing. My human took the hint and on she went selecting a doggie cowboy costume! This is much worse, your front legs are stuffed into these sleeves that actually look like legs and your head goes through a hole that looks like a shirt with a vest on top. Then they tie an oversized cowboy hat on your head and tah dah you're an old cowhand! Yippee ki yo NOT! I growl!

"Okay, no cowboy outfit," my human agrees. What's next? Ah well, let's see how I look in the Dracula outfit. Black satin suit pants included (complete with a hole for my tail to stick out of) black cape with red satin lining and a ridiculous hat that is supposed to be my widows peak hairstyle. I cringe in shame when I see an Irish setter heading down the aisle. He stops and looks at me and shakes his head. I understood. I know it's a sad state of affairs when your human stuffs you into a shopping cart and makes you try on every drated costume in the store. OH NO! NOT THE FAIRY GODMOTHER COSTUME!! Please, oh please I'll do anything, just no pink tutu PLEASE! Whew! Thank you oh thank you sooo much! I smile in relief. Why I did it at that precise moment I will never know. My human misunderstood my smile as approval for the gangster costume.

So, dear diary tomorrow is Halloween and I shall be greeting all of the short humans in their costumes when they ring our doorbell and holler "TRICK OR TREAT!" However, I won't be dressed like a dog, no I'll be wearing a pinstriped suit with a fedora hat and carrying a fake little doggie gun!