what should i do?

   when i were in the mood.then.Hu came into my life again!still so handsome.still so soft.i almost had the wrong feeling again..but.i know.all thing had change! when i go into office.i want to meet him.but.i am afraid to meet him too.i donot know how to face him.my heart is so painful....

that morning .power was cut.nothing to do without power.today.almost all thing need to do in computer.i donot know ,if without computer.how the societ will work! i sit in front of window.stared at the tree .there were some bird singing on the brance.so freedom! i felt so sad: if i were a bird.life will be different? i didnot.just tear pour out.at that time.i heard a voice :what are you doing here? oh.it was him! my heart was strike .cannot see his eyes."oh."i said: just feel something in my eyes.bad feeling! he smiled.then.go out.i felt so weak.can i let the feeling continue? no! i cannot! i should try to change.forget him again.anyways.he isnot the guy i need.he isnot the guy i should to love.right.it is true.i heard much thing about him.know him more.then.i feel that he isnot the guy i want again.maybe.today.i still cannot forget him.just because i never have him? yes.maybe.it is! sometimes.i feel i am self and proud.chinese said: just that you never can have is the best.maybe.just because of that?

   maybe.if i can meet more .i will forget him? maybe.i should try? ok.i will try all way to forget him.so.when power was came.i applied a ID in msn.and went to chatroom on net .ha.ha.that is a good way.at less.all the day.i didnot think of him again!
   it works! these days.i almost forget him at all! it doesnot mean that it is how fun on net.just i put my heart into another thing.so i think about him less.but i found .on net.these guys are so boring.something.they are for sex.sometimes.they are for AD.boring so much.and.there are some for love too.but.can you believe? they just want a lover! hard to say.as a chinese.maybe.it is normal? chinese men always think so .once they are rich.so they want more woman.i hate that very much!
   sometimes.when i read some bbs on net. found that woman and man blame each other .so funny.woman think chinese man is very androcentrism. and chinese man think chinese woman just like to marry to over sea.hard to say who is right.but i know.that is true.when you marry a man.in difficulty.maybe.you can do well in family.but.once the man to be rich.then.he changes.forget all love.and wants more woman..i never think foreigner will be better for that.maybe.just different culture.but i never want to forgive that because of that.