A schoolfellow

   that guy.was the one who i never can forget.not because i loved him.in fact.i didnot love him at all.just becasue his love to me.

  sometimes.i thought god is a bad guy (if he exsist).why arrange the one i donot love to love me? but the one love didnot love me? that is so sad!

   when i came into college.i were so poor.yes.my family was not rich.and my mom just went to another world.so i were so poor and be in a bad mood.but for me.i never think.povert is my fault .i never think .i should inferior to others because of my povert.the only thing i felt sad is for my mom.

  my mom is the best woman in the world.she always took care of my grandma so well.and took care of her kids well too.when i were in midschool.i slept in shcool.every saturday.i went back home.she always waited me at bridge....she was so great for me! after she died.i didnot know how to do in my future.but.well.life will continue.right? i amnot brave.but i am very tough

   with the mood.i went into college.i didnot like to play with another.just liked to read.sometimes.i went to hill closed to our compus alone.there is a big garden with orange tree.i always sitted on the tree .to eat orange.i like the quiet hill.there.i can clean my thinking...sometimes.i sleep on the hill.warm sunshine shine on body.so warm...

   i met him in that mood.he was in another classes.but .in our room.there is a girl is in his class.so he often came into our room. sometimes.we chatted.but i never feel his heart to me.another people told me.he liked me.i cannot believe!

   one day.i received a letter which has no name.in the letter.just fifty yuan money .and a love song's words. i kept the money .never cost it.for me.i never want to cost another money.if it wasnot from i earn.i donot want..but i know.it was from him.so i went to asked him if it was him to send me the letter.he deny .so i kept the money till we graduated.before we left college.he agreed that was him.so i take the money back to him.

  but from that.i noticed him.i found.he always appeard where i were.even my hill.i felt so bad.seems.my space were invaded.all my friend told me.he is a good guy.but i donot know why.i have no any feeling to him. i know.he can do anything for me.but why i have no feeling to him? why? if i can love him.how about my life will be different?

  but so regret.nothing to change.we left college after we graduated.in the station hall.he came to see my go.i said nothing to him.for me.if i ddinot love him.then.i wonot let him feel any hope.then.he can go to seek his love again.not me.but.why didnot he change? he wept.but i still say nothing.maybe.i am too cold.my friend said that to me.sometimes.i believe i am cold blood woman.three years! for three years.if a boy loved you for three years.never change.i thought.any girl will change.but...why i not? ??

  i know i hurt him too much.but where i am wrong? i never feel i am wrong with it.if time go back.i still wonot feel love to him...sorry.boy.if we have another life.i would like to love you will all my life.

  after many years.i still felt his pain that i bring to him.all my friend blamed me for that.but who know my heart? i just want one who i love .is that wrong? i have no duty to love him just because he loves me.right? but i still feel so sorry for him.these years.when i thought of him.my heart is aching.not for love.just for i had hurting a boy who love me... 

  in his email.he told me his QQ number.so i added him in my QQ. if i cannot loved him.i wish i can be his friend.to care for him in all my life.i wonot hurt him again